It's 2010 and relations between men and women are worse than ever. The only men and women who seem genuinely "happy" are gays and lesbians. For the rest of us, single or married, every day signals another battle or loss. After 40 years of feminists vs. male chauvinists, working women vs. working men, soccer moms vs. soccer dads, Mars vs.Venus, equal pay for equal work, stay-at-home dads, greater educational opportunity for both women and men, post-feminism, on-line dating, speed dating, couples therapy and a million books and articles about how to get a man, get a woman, get a life, one "wrong" look or word can trigger anything from raging arguments to murder.
What hath society wrought?
To many, problems between men and women are as old, and predictable, as Adam and Eve. After all, we're
totally different species, right? Men want the toilet seat up, paper over. Women want the toilet seat down, paper under. There's no rhyme or reason, it's just the way it is, we're different. Mars and Venus.
Men like football, video games, cheeseburgers and gratuitous sex. Women like the arts, cooking, romance, and meaningful sex. Or so the cliches go.
But neither gender is a cliche, though almost everything we're taught about each other as kids, from our parents to the media's relentless bombardment, says we are. Sure, through "enlightened" communication and experience, we can diminish the "differences", but for too many of us, men are men, women are women, and never the twain shall meet. (For the record, most singles stay together less than a year and the divorce rate is still 50%).
So how do we bridge the gender gap? I say, forget about gender. Men aren't from Mars and women aren't from Venus. We both live on planet Earth. And until we see, feel and understand each other as human beings, with all our gifts and faults, nothing's going to change.
To take it a step further, let's deal with each other as individual human beings. Nothing is sillier than hearing someone say, "I love women" or "I love men" or the converse.
Stephen Stills got it right: "Love the one you're with".
I've noticed I am an outlier. My friends seem to enjoy a typical girl. What is a typical girl? A cliche no doubt, but they do exist. Bimbo, narcissistic, overdressed, over-made up, wouldn't-touch-grass-with -bare-feet, type girls. These girls are also petite, small, very feminine, frail, etc. No doubt this is because of the insecurity of these guys that they feel the need "control" the during sex, and also partake in as many double standards as possible. SOme of these girls are so frail and small that they could easily be confused with 12 year old adolescent boys.
ReplyDeleteWhat am I getting at? The precious few people I've met who are so secure that they know what they love (mind you we don't always choose who we fall in love with) that it is a pleasure to be in their company.
Those cliches, I hate them. I hate them because I'm surrounded by them everyday. The best, and I mean BEST girls I have ever met (both sexy and smart) had more integrity than most males I meet. They wouldn't dare bitch about it raining outside. Or that a dish needed to be clean. Or playing video games. Or working out in a garage.
But, they are so few and far between.
Like unicorns, or pixies, or goblins.