"But You Look Good!"

I swear this happened in a span of about ten minutes.

Last week, I'm in my local gym, where I've worked on and off for twelve years,

most recently as the Fitness Manager, until I was fired by my District Manager, 

the reputed great-great granddaughter of Adolf Hitler. I'm in the gym, free of charge,

because of the good graces of my former General Manager, Jim. He knows and

understands the nature of the corporate beast. He also knows Hitler's granddaughter,

who, by the way, has left the company to raise her second demon child.

Anyway, I walk in, and at the front desk is Melissa, a very cute and sexy receptionist

who always liked me and who I hadn't seen in months.

"Arunas, how are you...?"

"Well, I still don't have a job, two jobs I thought I had I don't, my unemployment is running out,

my car's transmission is dying, I need a hip replacement, no med insurance, I'm $30,000

in debt and last December I turned sixty-fuckin'-three!"

That's a bit too much bad news for anybody to swallow, especially someone who knew me

when I was "the shit".  But, she paused for a moment searching for a response, looked at me

and said, "But you look good!"

I laughed, and ten seconds later Maria, a former training client, walked by.

"Arunas, how are you...?"

"Don't even ask...I still don't have a job, two jobs I thought I had..."

"I know it's tough out there..but you look good!"

Across the front desk, another former client, Larry the Lawyer, was getting off an elliptical machine. Larry, unlike most of his breed, is a nice, sweet guy.

"So, Arunas, howya doin'?"

"Oh, Jeez, I still haven't found a job, now I need a hip replacement, the car's dyin'..."

Larry didn't miss a beat. Sympathetic, hand on chin, deliberating...

"But you look good!"

Over the past month, I've heard "...BUT YOU LOOK GOOD" at least five other times.

What is that?

I think it comes under the category of  "a-thing-to-say-when-you-don't-know-what-to-say".

But, in my case, it also happens to be true. I do look good. Especially for an old geezer of

sixty-three. Attribute it to good genes, an optimistic, sometimes arrogant "devil-may-care","never-say-die" attitude, intense exercise, running and sports for most of my life, long and short periods of
intense love and sex, enthusiastic masturbation, two packs a day (cigarettes then, little cigars now),
megatons of drinking, whatever!

Point is, "I am what I am, I'm Popeye", the ironman. (If only I could find my Olive and keep her).

Who knows what's next? Will I find a meaningful job? Will I make enough money to survive and be

able to pass some on to my son? Will I finally find the peace of mind to write "the book"?  Does

or should anyone really give a shit whether I'm around or not? Who knows?

But I look good!

"Mindless Positivism"

There's a new disease in America. And it's spreading like wildfire. Insidious and unnamed,

it's a disease of delusion, devoid of reality or feeling. I call it "Mindless Positivism".

Talk to a Wall St. banker, a corporate sales manager, a celebrity, a tea-party Republican

or even your smug, comfortable next-door neighbor, and you'll catch it.

Got no job? Got no money? Over 60? Can't pay the mortgage? Another kid on the way?

In deep debt? Crippled with cancer? No med insurance? No problem!

Just think positive!

Just think positive. I hear it and read it every day. From friends, acquaintances,

former co-workers, strangers just met, media assholes, politicians, religious nuts,

rich people and celebrities.

It's the thing to say when you've got nothing else to say. Occasionally, I even say it

myself, like some mindless mantra that's magically going to transform my life

from misery to bliss. I'm in control, I'm the power of the Universe, God loves me,

I can do anything, if I just think positive.

Bullshit!

The greatest motivator known to mankind is fear. And fear is negative.

So I say, "Think negative."

Afraid of losing your job or finding a new one? Afraid you may lose your savings?

Afraid your wife or girlfriend is leaving? Afraid of ever finding new love?

Just tap into "The Power of Negative Thinking" and I guarantee you'll get up

off your ass and do everything you can to make the good stuff happen.

Or, if you're like "The Dude", you'll stay on your ass, suck a little weed, and let

what happens happen. (Not recommended for the fiscally or mentally challenged).

Negative thinking (fear) promotes positive action. If a hungry wolf sees you as dinner,

you're not gonna stick around to pet it, you're gonna bolt. Even if you're Dude-like,

characterized by benign inaction, your inaction is still action, in the same sense that

a "no comment" is still a comment.

Positive thinking is mindless because it's all about faith. And faith is all about fate, belief

and surrender to some higher power, even when, as hucksters like Anthony Robbins

would have you believe, that "higher power" is yourself.

So this new year, this new decade, figure out what you need to do to survive and thrive,

and, to quote the greatest ad slogan in history, just do it!

If you're not stupid, retarded, illiterate, a Christian fundamentalist, a "life counselor",

a corporate CEO, a sales manager, Paris Hilton, Donald Trump or comatose, keep on

truckin'.

If you're any of the above, think positive.